bittersweet

Over the last thee years, I’ve waivered back and forth with the thought of moving home to Ontario. Having family here, good friends, and a job to kill for, you’d think that eventually Calgary would turn into home for me. Once I make a decision, I have to go for it full speed and don’t look back in order to avoid feelings of regret. Which is the mode I’m in now – moving to Ontario, full speed ahead.

I’ve had different reactions from certain people – surprise, shock, sadness, disbelief. But for the most part, the underlying reaction is “I understand”. I have family and wonderful friends in both provinces, but for some reason I just feel grounded and calm whenever I return to Ontario. I sleep through the night. I breathe deeply. My anxiety dissipates.

Someone asked me the other day what I’ll miss most about Calgary. That’s a no-brainer. My sister. And her family. I’ve always been super close to my entire family, but with a six-year age difference, my sister and I were typically in very different places in life – I was starting university, and she had graduated university and moved to Vancouver. Having each other in Calgary not only brought us closer, but turned us into best friends. I got to see her get married, pregnant, and raise two babies. We’ve had countless nights of laughs, cries and philopsophical talks. We’ve had nights of not talking at all because the beauty of sisterhood is you can have conversations without having to say a thing. Our closeness allowed for a shift from “the guy she married” into him being my brother - helping me with car and apartment troubles. And I have become unbelievably attached to my neice and nephew, seeing their first minutes of life, first smile, first words, first steps. And watching their faces beam when I walk in the door and vice versa.

While I write this blog through a blubbering, snotty cry fest tears, I know that while I’m struggling leaving them, I can smile knowing I’m leaving with a connection and friendship to her/them that I never would have gotten had I not moved here. And I think that’s worth all the tears in the world. And plane tickets to visit them.

perspective

Last summer, I was out with some friends for some drinks. One of the girls who I barely knew felt the need to give me a lesson in social niceties. She pulled me aside and said I needed to smile more, and that I came across as cold, and that I don’t send out a signal to anyone that I am friendly.

The insecure 16-year-old high school student in me came out. I personalized her view of me and thought her impression of me was obviously correct. I got over it, but from time to time I would reflect back on that conversation (lecture?) and become sensitive about it.

Well riddle me this. Last month one of my guy friends asked if he could give one of his friends my number. Loooooooong story short, this guy was someone that I met the exact same night I was given this lecture. And, he remembered me as being “cute, funny, and nice“.

In case you’re wondering…no, nothing came out of this. But I was reminded that it is OK to personalize comments made about you…just make sure it’s only the good ones.

Eat your heart out, honey.

Bet you can’t not smile.

I stole this idea from Leah of Fiveblondes.com right here.

I think the best feeling in the world is when you laugh so hard you’re crying and you’re doubled over in abdominal pain. When I need a quick laugh, this is my go-to video. Plus she laughs exactly like one of my best friends. You know who you are.

Enjoy!

Bad Qi

I love acupuncture. And I love my acupuncturist. But I cheated on her. I bought one of those online deals…two 60 minute acupuncture sessions for $49.

I went for my first session, and it was OK. I mean, it was a new acupuncturist so I had my guard up, and we didn’t have a groove like me and my ex-acupuncturist did, but I didn’t want to judge right away. I went back for my second session and I trusted her a little bit more but I just didn’t feel right.

Maybe that’s because it was the worst acupuncture experience.

During the treatment, I felt the acupuncture points she had inserted the needles into were throbbing and painful (which they shouldn’t be), but I felt maybe I was just being sensitive or feeling guilty for leaving my doctor whom I had had a loyal and trusting relationship with for two years. Turns out I wasn’t overreacting because nearly every acupuncture point was BLEEDING when she took the needles out.

Then, as I’m getting dressed, I was putting my hair up. You can probably predict what I found in my neck. Two needles. In. My. Neck. I took them out, went up to her, and said “you left these in my head”. To which she responded with a cavalier “oops, sorry…”.

I’ve deciding to follow my gut and I leave my new acupuncturist. I will come clean to my previous one and let her know I really took her for granted and no groupon deal will ever tempt me to question our relationship again.

I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to workout.

I attract extremely bizarre circumstances and oftentimes people in my life. Always have, and hope I always will as I get a kick out of it since it’s always harmless.

I’ve decided to start sharing some of the scenarios. Starting with an email I received this weekend.

I have a few ads on kijiji as I’m trying to sell some stuff I no longer use, including my DVD set of Winsor pilates. A girl had emailed me and asked if it was still available, and I told her yes. About two weeks later I get this email from her. She tells me that she would like to come over to my house and try the pilates with me. WITH ME! In my house. She then continues to inform me that she recently purchased P90X and that I am welcome to come over to her house anytime to do it with her.

My friends I’ve shared this with have numerous theories that range from her wanting a lesbian lover, to wanting a workout buddy. I decided, amongst all the theories, not to work out with her. Or respond.

P.S. The DVDs are still for sale. Ha!

Is this adulthood?

There are some terms that I used to always hear that I never thought applied to me. Growing up, I lived in my bubble, and a magic wand was waved my parents made sure we had a wonderful childhood not having to hear about the real world, and simply took care of things.

Well, now I’m 25. I guess this means I’m a grown-up.

Insurance deductibles

Owing money at tax season

Medical expenses

Car registration

I felt these were just weird phrases that American commericals threw around that you could sue for. But now it’s actually applicable to me. I feel like every time I get ahead, I’m owing more money to some company. And super for me, I chose one of the worst paying fields to work in. Awesome.

Boys and girls, stay in school. And become an engineer.

A photogenic city

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As promised, here a few pictures from my trip to New Orleans:

-The first picture is of Oak Alley Mansion, one of the plantation tours we did that was about an hour outside of New Orleans.
-The second picture is of me on out swamp tour
-Picture #3 is inside the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at which had the most AMAZING breakfasts in the world.
-The next one is of me, outside an antique store named ‘Natalie’. I bought two wonderful pieces of jewelry there for souveneirs.
-The fifth picture was from the bicycle tour we went on, we stopped at a local restaurant that had this sign on the building. I thought it was funny
-Sixth picture is from the Hurricane Katrina exhibit at the museum. This is the international way to check inside of homes after a hurricane, it states how many humans and animals are inside, and if they are alive or not. A lot of homes have this symbol on it, and apparently it’s a real faux pas to paint over it.
-The last picture is of a hotel that was on our ghost tour, but I thought captured the feel of New Orleans architecture

Be Nice or Leave

I’m back from my trip to New Orleans feeling refreshed and relaxed. I had been looking forward to my vacation for so long, and the city did not let me down.

I left the city OK with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do all the things I wanted to do. There are so many amazing things there to delight your senses; I think that’s how they keep people coming back.

We continued our trip with some amazing plantation tours that were about an hour out of New Orleans where you got to see the Louisiana countryside. The swamp tour was also amazing; travelling through spooky trees and finding alligators. Other highlights included: a bicycle tour, visiting the Garden District, our ghost tour, the Katrina exhibit at the museum, and the FOOD. We also were there for the Mardi Gras kickoff weekend, so we spent a night watching the parade and partying in the French Quarter.

Yes, we were high intensity tourists. We tried to fit in as much as possible. But one of the best things was when we went to Frenchman Street. This is a less touristy area where locals play their music, usually big brass and jazz bands. Sitting there, making friends with the bartender and being able to talk to them about how they were impacted by Katrina (locals love sharing their stories), listening to bands play on every street corner, and walking into all the antique stores was my personal high note of the trip. I’ve been fortunate to travel to many different places, but New Orleans taps at a special place in your heart. The city has a culture of itself, full of happiness, hope and soul. I guess that’s why on almost every wall of a bar or restaurant there is a sign that states “be nice or leave”.

I absolutely plan to return, and hopefully soon. Stay tuned for pictures in my next post!

lessons learned

I know I said I wasn’t going to make any New Years Resolutions, but I’m starting to think “blog more” should be one. I’m failing in that department, and I’m working on it. A conversation with Leah made me feel better though, as she knows I’ve been busy over the last few months, with a lot of personal things going on too. She had stated she feels that it’s hard to blog when your personal life if a little crazy, unless you intend to blog about those things. Which I don’t. But it’s very true…I’ve written a dozen draft posts, re-read them a bunch of times, and they just feel like lies right now. So I delete them.

As I’ve mentioned, 2010 was a bit of a crazy year not only for me, but for my friends. Breakups, health scares, job changes, moves, etc. has created a very stressful year. But I came out alive, and with some tips to keep in my backpocket.

My first lesson is take risks. In the fall I took on a new job – it was in my field, but in an entirely different capacity. Although I was stressed in my previous job, I was comfortable. I had a good relationship with my boss and coworkers, and could do my job with my eyes closed. It’s not easy to decide to leave everything you know in a job, especially since it was my first job out of school. But I’m glad I did, and now I can say I have experience in another area of my field. Change is good.

My second lesson has been hard to come to terms with. It’s better to be alone, then unhappy with someone. Oy vey. This conclusion didn’t happen overnight, and I had certainly heard people throw this little phrase around, but often just thought it was some sort of coping mechanism for the brokenhearted. The challenge for me was truly accepting that just because you have two good people, it doesn’t mean they are good for each other. Once I truly understood how this applied to my own life, I felt (and continue) to feel empowered. Everyone deserves the best for them.

My third and final lesson was one in mortality. Morbid, I know. It’s very scary when you realize you’re not invinceable. I’ve dealt with my own health issues for a number of years, and constantly work to make sure I’m in tip-top shape health wise as I don’t want to become a victim to my condition. For me, it was scary to view other people deal with new challenges and come to terms with how their lives have changed. More than ever I’m committed to eating healthy, taking my vitamins, and exercising regularly. And always having a can of chicken noodle soup in the cupboard.

I figured a good end to my preachy blog post would be this song I think is very cute, and very true. Enjoy.

“that girl”

I would like to first start off saying that the only reason I am allowed to write this post and poke-fun at this demographic, is because I’ve been that girl.

The one at weddings that gets way too drunk, makes the entire guestlist do the congo line and shots, and starts karaoke, even though there is no karaoke machine…yes, I definitely did that at my sister’s wedding.

*BUT* I was 19 years old then. What blows my mind is when you see middle-aged people become completely incoherent and obnoxious at work functions.

Don’t they know the code?
1) Buddy up. Find a person in the office you trust.
2) Make a deal. If one of us gets too drunk, we both leave. Exit at the nearest door.

Neither me, nor my friends, have ever resulted in any embarrassment of this kind. We realize that if you just have 2 or 3 (or no) glasses of wine, you will still have a great night, and your boss will notice you are A+ inside and outside the office.

I’ve been an eyewitness too many times to these unfortunate shenanigans. And not only are they talked about on Monday, they are talked about ALL YEAR. The only way to break free of the reputation it seems, is for someone else to be “that girl” at the next office party.

So do yourself a favour this holiday season, and buddy up.